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End the Pain. Not the Marriage.


Every marriage needs saving at times. Sometimes your marriage just needs to be saved from mediocrity, complacency or “the roommate syndrome”. Other times it might need to be saved from divorce. Perhaps yours needs saving now.

If so, this course will be a crucial tool to create profound and sustainable change in your marriage relationship. Why? Because it addresses the underlying trauma and attachment issues that drive dysfunctional marriages. Other programs to save your marriage don’t do this.

You should have had a consultation with a mentor OR taken the SYM 90 assessment to determine if your marriage is a good candidate for our program. Not every distressed marriage is a good fit for SYM 90. Some marriages, especially if they have a pattern of the “Three A’s” (Abuse, Addictions to substances, or Affairs) may require intensive one-on-one counseling in conjunction with a structured program like SYM 90.

Save Your Marriage in 90 Days (SYM 90) is the result of years of counseling troubled couples and finding that traditional therapy has huge drawbacks. But at the end of 90 days of focused engagement with SYM 90, you will have developed the following critical skills and insights that will transform your marriage. You will:

  1. Understand the true costs of divorce.
  2. Understand your own and your mate’s emotions quickly and accurately.
  3. Understand the role that unhealed trauma plays in present marriage distress.
  4. Understand what Attachment is, and how a person develops various attachment styles.
  5. Understand how insecure attachment styles doom the best marriages to trouble.
  6. Understand how gratitude can soften your mate and your heart towards one another.
  7. Know and use a “Couples’ Time Out” plan to insure emotional safety when things get tense
  8. Understand the role of Core Issues, Primary Emotions, Secondary emotions in generating unhealthy behaviors.
  9. Learn how to talk about your pain to your spouse in ways that he or she will listen
  10. Learn how to listen to your spouse’s pain in ways that he or she will talk.

And that’s just the first 2 days of learning!!!

You can imagine how much you will learn and practice over the next 90 days, right? Your marriage relationship will truly be transformed, because you and your spouse will be truly transformed.

I hope you are encouraged enough to move forward with this exciting adventure. The skills and knowledge you will acquire by faithfully working the SYM 90 program will enrich every single relationship you have. Beginning with your husband or wife. See you at the end of 90 days!


What’s needed to begin:

A Journal or spiral notebook to answer the questions about yourself every lesson. Make sure you write complete sentences of the question and answer so it will make sense when you read it later. Some people use a laptop but research shows writing notes by hand increases retention– but it is your choice.

A Love Map Journal to document the understandings and learnings you develop about your spouse. This can look like a journal but can also look more like a scrapbook or a sketchbook. Again, some people use laptops and can incorporate photos etc.

Plan on about 1 hour most days to do the work to really function better as a couple. The first 4 lessons are content dense but divided into “Essential” and “Extra” sections. If you don’t have time to do it all, concentrate on the Essentials and come back later when you may have more time.

Phone or facetime to communicate with your spouse daily if you aren’t in the same room.

Phone or computer to communicate with your mentor for 15 minutes daily and for your weekly webinar with Joan Landes, CMHC.

Occasionally, you will be asked to digitally record yourself or your interaction with your spouse so amateur audio or audio/video recording will need to be available for your use.

Contact me at info@SaveYourMarriageIn90days.com for a mini-interview to make sure you are getting appropriate support. We are excited to work with you!!!



Course Curriculum

Day 1 End the Pain. Save the Marriage. FREE 00:00:00
Day 2 What Are Your WOEs ? 00:00:00
Day 3 Deeper Understanding of Your WOEs 00:00:00
Day 4 Understanding Attachment 00:00:00
Day 5 Understand Your Own Reactions Better 00:00:00
Day 6 Understand Your Current Stressors 00:00:00
Day 7 Love Languages 00:00:00
Day 8 The Diamond Rule Rules the Golden Rule 00:00:00
Day 9 Emotional Bank Accounts 00:00:00
Day 10 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 11 Learn About Your C-E-B Chain 00:00:00
Day 12 Brainstorm Thought Replacements 00:00:00
Day 13 Learn to Repattern Your Thoughts 00:00:00
Day 14 Review and Repeat 00:00:00
Day 15 Progress Not Perfection 00:00:00
Day 16 How to Use Strength-based Motivation 00:00:00
Day 17 What is a Distress Call in Your Marriage? 00:00:00
Day 18 Understanding More about Your Distress Calls: NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 19 ARE You There? 00:00:00
Day 20 The Importance of Language: NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 21 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 22 Learn About the Three-part Brain 00:00:00
Day 23 More about Responding to Distress with Empathy 00:00:00
Day 24 Learn the Talking Stick Dialogue: Speaker Role 00:00:00
Day 25 Learn About Core Needs 00:00:00
Day 26 Learn the Talking Stick Dialogue: Listener Role NEEDS VIDEOS 00:00:00
Day 27 The Talking Stick Dialogue Review 00:00:00
Day 28 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 29 CEB Chain Review 00:00:00
Day 30 How to Soothe Your Own Core Needs 00:00:00
Day 31 Using Core Needs for Problem-Solving 00:00:00
Day 32 CEB Chain Review 00:00:00
Day 33 Third-Alternative Problem Solving 00:00:00
Day 34 Practice a Complete Talking Stick Dialogue 00:00:00
Day 35 Practice Third-Alternative Problem-Solving 00:00:00
Day 36 Save the Date 00:00:00
Day 37 Understand Peanut Butter and Jelly Boundaries NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 38 Connect Through Physical Touch NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 39 Stewardship Delegation NEEDS VIDEO/Article 00:00:00
Day 40 Practice Stewardship Delegation 00:00:00
Day 41 Practice Replacing Negative Thoughts 00:00:00
Day 42 The Negative Interaction Cycle NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 43 Turning the Negative Interaction Cycle into a Positive Interaction Cycle NEEDS 3 VIDEOS 00:00:00
Day 44 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 45 The Power of Humor NEEDS Video 00:00:00
Day 46 Stewardship Delegation for a Medium Sized Project 00:00:00
Day 47 Build Your Friendship 00:00:00
Day 48 ARE You Able to Contain My Distress? 00:00:00
Day 49 Practice Eliciting and Containing Your Spouse’s Distress NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 50 Begin to Heal Attachment Trauma MAKE AUDIO and VIDEO Deep breathing 00:00:00
Day 51 Continue to Heal Attachment Wounds 00:00:00
Day 52 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 53 Every Day Romance and Affection 00:00:00
Day 54 The Insider Trading Card Game 00:00:00
Day 55 Connection through Sexuality Part 1 00:00:00
Day 56 Connect through Sexuality Part 2 00:00:00
Day 57 Total Love NEEDS VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 58 Totally Loving Boundaries 00:00:00
Day 59 The Challenge of Total Honesty NEEDS SKIT VIDEO 00:00:00
Day 60 How to Recover from Betrayal Trauma 00:00:00
Day 61 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 62 Strong (not weak) Apologies 00:00:00
Day 63 Weak Apologies 00:00:00
Day 64 The Couples’ Council 00:00:00
Day 65 Write a Handwritten Love-Letter to Your Spouse 00:00:00
Day 66 Thought Replacements in the Moment 00:00:00
Day 67 Practice Stewardship Delegation for a Medium Project 00:00:00
Day 68 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 69 Thought Replacements In the Moment 00:00:00
Day 70 ARE You Able to Contain My Distress? Practice 00:00:00
Day 71 Practice Eliciting and Containing Your Spouse’s Distress 00:00:00
Day 72 More Connecting through Sexuality NEEDS ASSESSMENT 00:00:00
Day 73 Forgiveness: A Powerful Gift to Yourself NEEDS EVERYTHING 00:00:00
Day 74 Enacting Forgiveness 00:00:00
Day 75 The Insider Trading Card Game 00:00:00
Day 76 More Connection Through Sexuality 00:00:00
Day 77 Save the Date 00:00:00
Day 78 Thought Replacements In the Moment 00:00:00
Day 79 Turning the Negative Interaction Cycle into a Positive Interaction Cycle NEEDS 3 videos 00:00:00
Day 80 His Needs, Her Needs 00:00:00
Day 81 His Needs, Her Needs Report Card 00:00:00
Day 82 Turning a Negative Cycle into a Positive Cycle-Practice 00:00:00
Day 83 Thought Replacements In the Moment-Practice 00:00:00
Day 84 Save the Date! 00:00:00
Day 85 The Insider Trading Card Game 00:00:00
Day 86 Turning a NIC into a PIC- Practice 00:00:00
Day 87 How Core Values Can Supersede Core Issues 00:00:00
Day 89 Your Vital Vision NEEDS video 00:00:00
Day 90 The Couples’ Vital Vision NEEDS video 00:00:00

About Resilified

Resilified was developed to fortify the resilience of people who want better lives. With online courses to develop skills and insights along with a supportive community with forums, Resilified can create amazing growth in our users.

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